How to exceed yourself as a parent

It may sound strange to talk about exceeding oneself when most of the messages we get through the media are ways to take it easy, to take a time-out, to relax, to go to spas... Quite little talks about working harder, or better.

I have the luxury and extreme luck of being able to be 100% mother since I haven't worked for the last 4,5 years. Being at home when my first son was borned was quite natural, staying at home now when my youngest son will turn 2 in a couple of months is not at all obvious in Sweden, where we live, but not even in many other countries.

But independently of the fact if you work or not, you can still exceed as a parent. How?

I would say the first enemy of exceeding is tiredness. It's more difficult to be patient, to smile, to sigh when your small children throw juice on the floor for the fourth time, when your elder children say they don't like the food... You can surely think of many everyday situations when being tired or not makes such a difference. But even being tired you can exceed yourself as a parent.

The first step, as in any process, is to convince yourself that exceed as a parent is something you really want to do, not one day, not even one month, but always. The second step is to realise that it will take quite some exercising and that you need to be patient with yourself when you don't manage to exceed even if you've tried. Don't give up; start again, once, twice a million times if it's needed. The third step is to do a sum-up at the end of the day each day and think how you have dealt with child-situations, what you did you are happy with, and what you are less happy with and would like to change. Step four is to start changing and see what kind of results you get. No one said it would be easy, but it's possible!

How you now if it's working?

You'll have happier children, that fuzzy less, that show more affection and empathy, that help more, that talk and listen more, and without even knowing you'll have children that exceed themselves.